WHY ARE WE ADDICTED TO SWIPING ON DATING APPS?
Have you ever opened up a dating app, started swiping, and all of a sudden it’s 1 a.m. and you’ve lost track of how many profiles you’ve seen? The ease of swiping has so many people hooked, researchers are looking into how and why users get addicted to online dating apps. If you’re stuck on the apps (particularly Tinder) and still single, it may be time to rethink your relationship to swiping and consider a more mindful, intentional way to meet your match.
Why is it so easy to get addicted to swiping on dating apps?
The short answer is that humans are wired for connection, and connection releases dopamine. The issue with dating apps is that they give us a false sense of actual connection: our minds trick us into thinking we’re really “connecting” with a person when in reality we’re home alone on the couch.
Dr. Anna Lembke is a Harvard scholar and expert on addiction whose current work focuses on digital media addictions, which she finds work similarly to substance additions. Lembke explains that social media platforms have notably addictive features: access, quantity, potency, and novelty. Many dating apps, specifically Tinder, also exhibit these same addictive features:
Access: Because we are always carrying our phones, we’re always able to access photos of potential matches.
Quantity: When you open up the app and start swiping, you’re presented with a virtually endless selection of visual stimuli in the form of attractive photos.
Potency: Did I mention that the photos of attractive people are nice to look at?!
Novelty: There’s new people signing up all the time who you haven’t seen yet! And the algorithms know what you’ve already seen and will feed you new content so you won’t get bored.
Access, quantity, potency, and novelty combine to activate our brain’s reward system and release dopamine, a hallmark of addictive behavior.
What is dopamine?
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that’s released in response to reward situations and it also controls smooth movement: your ability to hold your hand out and keep it steady is a result of dopamine regulating your movement. Dopamine is also released when we share emotional experiences with other people, like cheering at a concert or football game.
In our constant drive towards pleasure, we seek out more sources of dopamine release. Our brain and central nervous system behave similarly whether we’re swiping on the apps, playing slots at the casino, or using drugs. According to Psychology Today, “Tinder hijacks the brain’s system of reward learning to keep individuals hooked. Tinder sends notifications when a user has a new match. When users first begin to receive such notifications, their dopamine neuron firing rate does not increase until the user views the profile of the individual with whom they matched.” When you use the apps for long enough, your brain adapts to the rush you get from swiping and instead identifies rewards from just getting notifications.
What actions are being taken against addictive dating apps?
Match Group, Inc., the umbrella company under which Tinder operates, is the subject of a class action lawsuit in which claimants from six states allege that the dating service company violated consumer protection and other laws.
In February 2024 plaintiffs from six states filed a complaint alleging that Matchgroup “intentionally designs the Platforms with addictive, game-like design features, which lock users into a perpetual pay-to-play loop that prioritizes corporate profits over its marketing promises and customers’ relationship goals.” The complaint also states that dating apps violate consumer protection and other laws, and through monopolizing users’ attention, these platforms “transform users into gamblers locked in a search for psychological rewards that Match makes elusive on purpose.”
While the claimants would have preferred to go to court, the case has been in arbitration starting in 2025. While the lawsuit is a step towards taking Match Group, Inc. to task for perpetuating compulsive behavior, it’s difficult to go after these companies because their algorithms are proprietary and they won’t share information about user experiences.
What can you do about addictive swiping?
Our brains get triggered and put into an anticipatory state when we get notifications - the notifications themselves prime us for dopamine release, and we feel that reward “rush” when we see new matches. It’s the combination of seeing new matches, the unpredictability of getting matches, the ease of pure visual input, and seeing attractive faces that keeps people hooked.
Lembke suggests a dopamine fast and fostering a greater awareness of control, compulsion, and consequences. If you feel like you have no control, can’t stop, are constantly compelled to pick up the phone and check it for new and novel content, and if there’s consequences as a result of that use, then you should take a step back and reconsider your relationship to the apps and social media generally.
If you’re one of the 60 million people using dating apps, definitely consider watching the documentary Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age to learn more about how dating apps keep us hooked and continually padding the pockets of CEOs who benefit from our late-night swiping fugue states. After watching the documentary, check out in-person meet-ups in your city and local matchmakers, like me, who are ready to get to know you as a person and curate matches for you based not on dopamine-fueled swipe sessions, but on shared values, interests, life goals, and personality traits.
